


The Talk

by assholeachilleus



Series: Deaf!jon au [4]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Deaf!Jon, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sex-Repulsed Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans!Martin, and then it's very fluffy again, minor transphobia (it's mentioned Elias once used Martin's deadname), there's like a second of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28337523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assholeachilleus/pseuds/assholeachilleus
Summary: Jon tells Martin they need to talk and Martin wildly misunderstands the situation. This is part of my deaf!Jon au but can be read in isolation.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: Deaf!jon au [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072478
Comments: 8
Kudos: 131





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so I just want to reiterate that there is a very minor point of mentioned transphobia in this, so please please be mindful of that. I hope I represented both Jon and Martin in a respectful way, but please feel free to correct me if anything isn't right/comes across as disrespectful. As always, constructive criticism is welcome, and kudos and comments are very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy!

"Martin, I, ah, I think we should talk." Martin felt the plate he'd been contently washing slip from his grip, landing with a clatter back into the bowl, the bubbles momentarily disrupted creating a cavernous hole he desperately wished he could climb into. 

He knew this was coming. Of course Jon had found out, he was tenacious and driven, particularly gifted at weeding out uncomfortable truths in his research. 

How had he found out though? Sasha surely wouldn't have said anything, she knew better. And Elias hadn't referred to Martin by his deadname since Sasha had knocked purposefully on his office door and given a strongly-worded lecture that reminded Martin of a stern teacher scolding a disruptive child. So how?

"Martin…? Are you alright?" Jon was watching him, concern visible in the lines that had worn themselves into his forehead. Martin realised he was standing completely still, hands partially submerged in water that was quickly getting cooler. His fingers pruning at the tips. 

"I, er, I'm fine." Martin busied himself picking up another dish and scrubbing slightly harder than was strictly necessary. "I know I should've, um, I should've said. Earlier. I, er, I guess it was inevitable really." He gave a quick laugh, voice sounding strangled even to his own ears. 

Jon frowned, taking a step forward as he removed Martin's hands from the water and tenderly wiped them dry. 

"Martin, what are you talking about? Tell me what?" Jon laced their fingers together, his eyes drinking Martin in, his eyebrows drawn together. 

Martin swallowed, his throat feeling tight as though a phantom fist had curled its insidious fingers around, and started to squeeze. 

"I, um, I thought you were talking about. Um, well that I'm. Um, trans…?" Martin watched as Jon's eyebrows pulled tighter, reminiscent of a marionette with its strings about to snap. 

"No, I, I wanted to talk about something pertaining to me. I, ah, I had no idea about…" Jon's voice trailed off, his hand gripping Martin's tighter. 

"Oh." Martin felt his ears burning, and he wanted the inferno to devour him, to curl cruelly around his arms and down his legs, until there were only tendrils of smoke left. 

There was a second where they both stared. Eyes locked. Hands entwined so close it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. 

And then they started to talk. 

"Oh Jon, I thought-" 

"Martin obviously I have no issue with that, sorry that sounds like I'm giving you permission I'm-" 

"I didn't, I thought you'd found out-"

"Martin I'm so so sorry-" 

Their both huffed a laugh, Martin's slippers squeaking he shuffled against the linoleum. Jon ran his hands through his hair that cascaded over his shoulders and slipped down his back, and gave a weary sigh. 

"I, ah, I'm sorry." Jon smiled sadly. "I, ah, it's none of my business." 

Martin laughed incredulously. "I mean, we're, um, dating. So it sort of is." 

Martin could feel his heart slamming against his ribs, screaming to be released from its cage, his blood fizzing dizzyingly fast. 

"Right." Jon adjusted his glasses. "Well, um, thank you. For, for telling me. I, ah, it means a lot." 

Martin hesitantly reached his hand out, and Jon grabbed it instantly, curling his fingers around Martin's wrist and gripping it tightly, as though fighting to hold him together. 

They stayed like that for a while, only the soft sound of their joint breathing audible. 

"So, um, what did you want to talk about then? If, um, if not that?" Martin's whole body felt warm, whether from embarrassment at completely misunderstanding the situation, or from exhilaration at not being rejected he couldn't tell. 

Jon rubbed at the base of his neck with his free hand. 

"I, ah, I would prefer not to have this conversation in the kitchen. If that's alright with you?" Jon's shoulders were narrowed, as if trying to collapse in on themselves. His voice was quiet, eyes shifting around the room but never staying on one thing for too long. 

"Oh! Of course, let's um, let's go to the living room." 

They settled on the couch, dancing precariously between drowning in the inordinate number of decorative cushions and being swamped by the knitted throws. 

Jon took Martin's hand, rubbing his thumb along the back, tracing a pattern that was only known to him. 

"I wanted. Ah. I, I understand there are certain...expectations in a relationship." Jon glanced up, tucking stray hairs behind his ears. "But I, I don't do some of those things." 

Martin frowned. "Jon, it's okay. Take your time." 

Jon took a breath, nodding mostly to himself. 

"I'm, ah, well I'm asexual. So I don't want sex, well ever." Jon shuffled, curling back into the sofa, wishing he could be fully absorbed in its comforting embrace. 

"Oh, um, okay." Martin shrugged, picking at the stray threats on the knitted throw haphazardly thrown across his legs. 

"And I don't want you to think it's you. Or that I'm not attracted to you. I am. Just not, not sexually and-" 

Martin laughed softly, reaching up to cup Jon's cool cheek, stroking along the lines permanently etched there, tracing them gently with the tips of his fingers, as though trying to decipher Jon like braille. 

"Jon, it's fine. You don't have to explain. There are more things to our relationship than sex, or lack thereof." 

Jon starred, eyes wary, recoiled ever so slightly from where he'd been sitting previously. 

"I, I know. I just, I get this can be...difficult for some people." Jon winced as though his own words hurt him to be said. 

Martin pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. 

"Jon. I love you for you. I love your inability to hold conversations in the morning, and how you steal my jumpers and deny it, even though it's so obvious. I love how your glasses are often askew, and how you frown at the morning crossword. I love how you speak so passionately about books and reading, and your stories about patrons of the library who annoy you. And I love that you've always accepted me for who I am." Martin's eyes stung, his cheeks prickling with heat. 

Jon swallowed, his eyes glassy. "Oh, Martin." He closed the gap between them and kissed Martin, that same desire to know and be unknown thrumming in the undercurrent, barely contained as they pressed ever closer, squeezing out the last inches of space between them. 

Jon rested his head on Martin's shoulder, lacing their hands together, and curling around him with determined but gentle arms. 

"We're really, um, a bit of a mess." Martin whispered, watching as Jon's eyes kept fluttering closed, as though the effort of keeping them open was becoming too much. 

Jon laughed, the tide of sleep coming in, making his voice sound distant and hazy. 

"Yeah." A beat of silence passed. He looked up at Martin. "I really love you." 

Martin smiled. "I really love you too."


End file.
